DAWN OF THE ETERNAL GUMPTION =)

This is a story about four employees named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thpought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that everybody wouldn’t do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

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A Lesson From An Ant
by: Josh and Karen Zarandona

Brenda was a young woman that wanted to learn to go rock climbing. Although she was scared to death she went with a group and they faced this tremendous cliff of rock. Practically perpendicular. In spite of her fear, she put on the gear and she took a hold of the rope and she started up the face of that rock.
Well, she got to a ledge where she could take a breather. As she was hanging on there, whoever was holding the rope up at the top of the cliff made a mistake and snapped the rope against Brenda’s eye and knocked out her contact lens.

You know how tiny contact lenses are and how almost impossible to find. Well, here she is on a rock ledge, with who know how many hundreds of feet behind and hundreds of feet above her. Of course, she looked and looked and looked, hoping that she would be able to find that contact lens. Here she was, very far from home. Her sight was now blurry. She was very upset by the fact that she wouldn’t be anywhere near a place where she could get a new contact lens. And she prayed that the Lord would help her to find it.

Well, her last hope was that perhaps when she got to the top of the cliff, one of the girls that was up there on the top might be able to find her contact lens in the corner of her eye. When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye. There was no contact lens to be found. She sat down with the rest of the party, waiting for the rest of them to come up the face of the cliff.

She looked out across range after range of mountains, thinking of that Bible verse that says, "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth." She thought, "Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every single stone and leaf that’s on those mountains and You know exactly where my contact lens is."

Finally, the time came when it was time to go down. They walked down the trail to the bottom. Just as they got there, there was a new party of rock climbers coming along. As one of them started up the face of the cliff, she shouted out, "Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?"

Well, that would be startling enough, wouldn’t it? She had found the contact lens! But you know why she saw it? An ant was carrying that contact lens so that it was moving slowly across the face of the rock.

What does that tell you about the God of the universe? Is He in charge of the tiniest things? Do ants matter to Him? Of course they do. He made them. He designed them.

Brenda told me that her father is a cartoonist. When she told him this incredible story, he drew a picture of that ant lugging that contact lens (as you see in the comics with a balloon with words in it over his head) with the words: "Lord, I don’t know why You want me to carry this thing. I can’t eat it and it’s awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I’ll carry it for You."

If God is in charge of the ants, don’t you think He cares about you and me? I guess Solomon was right. One could learn a valuable lesson from that ant — trust in God. We could probably all say a little more often, "God, I don’t know why you want me to carry this load. I see no good in it and it’s awfully heavy. Still, if you want me to, I’ll carry it for You."

~~~ Hi to my inspirations for this blog…

Mitz (sobrang linis na rm.m8 sa peyups-LB),

Misyel (Hyali-)maw sa piano na hausm8 s NamiliD)

at

C. Masipag (talentadang ka-bungguan sa Ortigas n over-qualified sumali/mag-host sa MAYTRABAHO ka ng QTV =)

BOY

BOY: absent ako khapon mam kc nakunan ang aking mama, ako ang iniwan.
TEACHER: spik in english dis s an english clas.
BOY: i was absent yestersday bcz my mam was subtracted and i was the remainder.

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Mahiwagang Pantalon

BATA: Kuya may nabili akong pantalon…
KUYA: Anong tatak?
BATA:GUESS!
KUYA:Ralph Lauren??

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Say it in English

Stud: Ma’am pasensya na, nawala ako kahapon kasi nanganak ang nanay ko.
Titser: Speak in English!!
Stud: Ma’am, I was lost yesterday because my mother was born…
Titser: Very good, seeting down…

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masunurin

Pedro: indayyy…..
Inday: sir,bakit po?
Pedro: pakitimpla mo nga ako ng kape
Inday: sandali lang po sir.

Pagbalik ni Inday dala ang kape:
Inday: sir,ito na pong kape nyo…
Pedro: di ba sabi ko sayo ilagay mo sa platito pag humingi ako ng kape?
Inday: sorry po sir,nakalimutan ko kasi.
Pedro: lagi mo na lang nakalimutan.sa sunod na utos ko wag mo nang kalimutan ha..
Inday:opo sir
Pedro: o sige,pakikuha nga ng sapatos ko dahil aalis na ako pagkatapos nito.

Pagbalik ni inday dala ang sapatos:
Pedro: (gulat)inday,anong ginawa mo?bakit nilagay mo sa platito yang sapatos ko?
Inday: eh kasi sabi nyo sa sunod na utos mo ilagay ko sa platito…
pedro: ngeeek!!!!

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Kape’t Tinapay
Anak umiiyak na umuuwi sa bahay.

Tatay: O anong nangyari sa’yo? Bakit ka umiiyak. Saan ka ba galing?
Anak: Sa kapitbahay po nating namatayan nag v vigel. huh…huh….
Tatay: O bakit ka nga ba umiiyak?
Anak: Kac d nila ako binigyan ng kape at tinapay!
Tatay: Bakit daw?
Anak: Ewan ko! Basta Itay, pag namamatay ka, di rin natin cla bigyan ng kape at tinapay ha?

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DOCTOR’S CLINIC

PATIENT: Doc, ano ba ang gamot sa kuto ko?
DOCTOR: Bakit , ano bang sakit ng kuto mo??

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FRATERNITY FRAT LIDER: balita ko GAY ka daw, totoo ba?

MEMBER: Gus2 ko talagang linawin yan, ende ako GAY! Mga chizmax lang yan galing sa mga chuvanunez na walang ma do sa mga chenilyn nila!

..mga CHAKA EVER!

*********************************** ****************************

MELANIE

Nasa mall si Melanie Marquez nang may nakasalubong na dalawang babae.

2 Babae: Hey bitch!

Melanie: (galit) Dont you ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever call me

"HEY"!

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Ngongo

May ngongong nagpapa atras ng jeep. Sabi nya kanal pero hindi nya masabi ng tama. pagkakaintindi ng driver kanan kaya kumanan ung jeep. at nahulog ito sa kanal.

Ang Gulay at Saranggola

Nanay : Anak lutuin mo na yung gulay para may makain na tayo
Anak : ‘Nay maya na BC pa po ako eh
Nanay : Bakit anak ano ba ginagawa mo
Anak : Eto pong saranggola ko
Nanay : Bakit anak makakain mo ba yang saranggola
Anak : Bakit ‘nay mapapalipad nyo ba ang gulay?

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SINAING

NANAY: Anak, damihan mo sinaing kasama pusa’t aso.
ANAK: opo nay.
makalipas ang isang oras….
NANAY: pambihira! bakit may pusa sa sinaing?
ANAK: Hindi ko na nga po isinama ang aso kase hindi na kasya….

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Si Ngongo

Si mister ay isang ngongo. minsan nung sya ay pauwi sa bahay,,,naisip nya na sorpresahin ang kanyang misis, kaya dahan dahan syang pumasok at sa kitchen ay nandun ang kanyang misis. Kaya dahan dahan din nyang tinakpan ang mata mula sa likod, sabay sabi…"NGESS HUUU?"….sagot ng misis: pambihira, pa guess guess who ka pa, e ikaw lang naman ang ngongo d2….

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Jeepney

Estudyante: Mama bayad!
Drayber: San galing?

Estudyante: SA AKIN! =)
Drayber: (pilosopo to tah)SAN PAPUNTA!

Estudyante: SA ‘YO! =)

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ADAM and EVE

One day in the garden of Eden…

EVE: Adam, do you really love me??

ADAM: No, not really…..

EVE: Then why did you make love to me??

ADAM: HALLER?????

….AS IF I HAVE A CHOICE BETWEEN YOU AND THE SNAKE….

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walang laman!

Holdaper: Joldap to pare! anong gusto mo wallet o utak?
Mama: Bahala ka na ‘tol… pareho namang walang laman yan eh!!!

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A first grade teacher collected some well-known sayings. She then gave each child in her class the first half of the sayings and asked them to come up with the second half. Their insights may surprise you:

* You can’t teach an old dog new…math.

** A miss is as good as a…Mr.

*** The pen is mightier than the…pigs.

**** Better to be safe than…punch a fifth grader.

***** Never underestimate the power of…termites.

****** Laugh and the whole world laughs with you; cry and…you have to blow your nose.

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New York divorce lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?" The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.       
      Saint Peter said, "Well , that’s fine, but it’s not really quite enough to get you into Heaven." The Lawyer said, "Wait Wait! There’s more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter." Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.       
      Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"
      
      Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter,
      
      "Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

One day an elderly pastor confides in his parishioners that he’s feeling a bit lonely and depressed. So one of the parishioners suggests to the pastor that he buy a pet. Thinking this a grand idea, the pastor hurries into town and after much deliberation, buys a parrot. Unfortunately not five minutes after arriving home, the parrot starts hurling a string of expletives at the pastor.After about an hour it gets to be too much, so the pastor walks up to the parrot, slaps him on the beak, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the parrot madder and he starts swearing at the pastor in even more colorful language.Finally the pastor has had it and says, "All right, that’s it. Grabbing a blanket, the pastor throws it over the parrot’s cage and screams, "Now, SHUT UP!" Well, this really irritates the parrot and he starts clawing and scratching at the bars of his cage. Finally the pastor removes the blanket. Immediately the parrot starts right in on the pastor again.
By this time, the pastor is so infuriated that he grabs the parrot by the throat and throws him into the freezer. Well, the parrot starts swearing and thrashing about so loudly that the pastor is considering killing the bird. Just as he’s thinking this, it gets very…very quiet.At first the pastor just stares at the refrigerator, but then he starts to think that the parrot might be seriously injured. He becomes so worried that he runs over to the refrigerator and throws open the freezer door.
The parrot climbs out of the freezer, flaps the ice off his wings, and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I’ve caused you . In the future, I’ll do my best to improve my vocabulary."The pastor is astounded. He can’t believe the sudden transformation that has come over the parrot. Finally the parrot turns to the pastor and says, "Um….by the way, what did the chicken do?"
= = = = == == = == = = = = = = = = = = = = == = = = = = = = = = =

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
      
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
      
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
      
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered: "I think it’s Adam’s suit!"

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A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die:
      
      1. Each morning , fix him a healthy breakfast.
      
      2. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood.
      
      3. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal.
      
      4. For dinner, prepare him an especially nice meal.
      
      5. Don’t burden him with chores as he probably had a hard day.
      
      6. Don’t discuss your problems with him.
      
      On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said to her.
      
      "You’re going to die," she replied.

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In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined.
The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens — he declares that he’s been saved by divine intervention– so he’s let go .
The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn’t release the blade, he claims he can’t be executed twice for the same crime and he is set free too.
They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem…."

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A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.      
He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.
By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward.
Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. ?????
By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. ?????
Just then the graveyard’s caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. ?????
"Oh, it’s nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He’s just decomposing!"
=================================================================================================================================

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Rachel, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful, considerate, and wonderful man her late husband had been.
"My Sidney thought of everything", she told them. "Just before he died, he called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. ‘Rachel’, he told me. ‘I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am gone, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Knowing you’ll do this, I can rest in peace’."  "What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked. "The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, ‘Please use this money to buy a nice casket’. So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably. "The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, ‘Please use this for a nice funeral’. I made Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods."   
"And the third envelope?" asked her friends. "The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note, ‘Please use this to buy a nice stone’.      
At that point, Rachel held up her hand and pointed to her ring finger, on which was a gorgeous ten carat diamond ring.      
"So?", said Rachel, "You like my stone?"
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Three men, an Italian, a Frenchman, and a Jew, were condemned to be executed. Their captors told them that they had the right to have a final meal before the execution. They asked the Frenchman what he wanted."Give me some good French wine and French bread," he requested. So they gave it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him.Next it was the Italian’s turn. "Give me a big plate of pasta," said the Italian. So they brought it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him.Now it was the Jew’s turn. "I want a big bowl of strawberries, " said the Jew.
"Strawberries!!! They aren’t even in season!"      
"So, I’ll wait…"

THAT’s ALL FOR NOW. =)

UP NEXT: BRAIN TEASERS =>

By the time the Lord made the woman
He was into his sixth day of working overtime
An angel appeared and said,
“Why are you spending so much time on this one?”
And the Lord answered, “Have you seen my spec sheet on her?”
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic
Have over 200 movable parts, all-replaceable
And to run on diet coke and leftovers,
Have a lap that can hold four children at one time
Have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart
And she will do everything with only two hands
The angel was astounded at the requirements
“Only two hands!? No way!”
And that’s just on the standard model?
That’s too much work for on day,” Wait until tomorrow to finish”
“But I wont” the Lord protested
“I’m so close to finish this creation that is so close to my own heart”
She already heals herself when she is sick and can works 18-hour days
The angel moved closer and touched the woman
But you made her so soft Lord?
“She is soft”, the Lord agreed but I have also made her tough
“You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish”
Will she able to think? Asked the angel
“Not only she will able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate”
The angel then noticed something and reaching out touched the woman’s cheek
“Oops, it looks like you have a leak on this model”
“I told you that you were trying to put too much on this one”
That’s not a leak, the Lord answered, “That’s a tear”
“What’s the tear for?” the angel asked
The Lord answered, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
Her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness and her pride “
The angel was impressed; “ you are a genius, Lord you thought of everything!
“Woman is truly amazing” And she is!
Women have strength that amazes men
They bear hardships and carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy
They smile when they want to scream, they sing when they want to cry,
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous
They fight for what they believe in, they stand up for injustice
They don’t take “NO” for an answer when hey believe there is a better solution
They go without so their family would have
They go to a doctor with a frightened friend
They love unconditionally they cry when their children excel
And cheer when their friends get awards, they are happy when they hear about a birth
Or even a weeding their hearts break when a friend dies
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
Yet they are strong when they think there’s no strength left
They know that a hug ad a kiss ca heal a broken heart
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors
They’ll drive fly, walk, run or e-mal you to show how much they care about you
The heart of women is what makes the world keep turning
They bring joy, hope, and love, they have compassion and ideals
They give moral support to their family and friends
Women have vital things to say and everything to give
However, if there is one flaw in women,
It is that they forget their worth

It is not the final success that remains in your heart or brings you satisfaction
It is the day-after-day dedication and endless belief you have in your self that endures and continues to push you on
It is looking ahead, not behind it knows that by taking one step forward other step follows and the journey you are on will lead you to
Where ever you want to go =)

(= for MARIZTEL eM.patika & NINA Tajanan ng Langit =)

~~for M’ J-Lo & ChuFfa Mae =) Mwaah!

Love & Lettin’ Go…

Sometimes in our relentless efforts to find the person we love

we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us.

We miss out on so many beautiful things

because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns.

Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words

for you will find rewarding happiness

not with the man you love

but with the man who loves you more.

The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance,

far enough to allow the other person to grow,

but never too far to feel the love deep within your being.

To let go of someone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving,

it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness

without expecting him to come back.

Letting go is not just setting the other person free,

but it is also setting yourself free

from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.

Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith,

and never allow pain to dishearten you,

but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it.

You may found peace in just loving someone from a distance

not expecting anything in return.

But be careful,

for this can sustain life

but can never give enough room for us to grow.

We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past

but real peace and happiness come only

with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance

upon someone so nice and beautiful

and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person.

This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives

and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions.

The sad part of it is when we begin to realize

that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship.

We start our desperate attempt to get noticed

and be closer

but in the end

our efforts are still unrewarded

and we end up being sorry for ourselves.

You don’t have to forget someone you love.

What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality

without being bitter or sorry for yourself.

Believe me,

you would be better off giving that dedication and love

to someone more deserving.

Don’t let your heart run your life,

be sensible

and let your mind speak for itself.

Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.

Always remember that if you lose someone today,

it means that someone better is coming tomorrow:

If you lose love that doesn’t mean that you failed in love.

Cry, if you have to,

but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt

and the bitterness that the past has left with you.

Let go of yesterday

and love will find its way back to you.

And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay

and last a lifetime.

———-
"And in the end, the love we take

will be equal to the love we make." - The Beatles

My Child…

You may not know me, but I know everything
about you
…Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up
…Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways
…Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered
…Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image
…Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being
…Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring
…Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived
…Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation
…Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are
written in my book
…Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth and where
you would live
…Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made
…Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother’s womb
…Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born
…Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don’t
know me
…John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete
expression of love
…1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you
…1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child and I am your
Father
…1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could
…Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father
…Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my
hand
…James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs
…Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with
hope
…Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love
…Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand
on the seashore
…Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing
…Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you
…Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession
…Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all
my soul
…Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things
…Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me
…Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your
heart
…Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires
…Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could
possibly imagine
…Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager
…2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your
troubles
…2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you
…Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you
close to my heart
…Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes
…Revelation 21:3-4

And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on
this earth
…Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my
son, Jesus
…John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed
…John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being
…Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not
against you
…Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins
…2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled
…2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love
for you
…1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your
love
…Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive
me
…1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you from my love
again
…Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party heaven
has ever seen
…Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be
Father
…Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…Will you be my child?
…John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you
…Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad. Almighty God

Forwarded by: Carla =)